I've been trying so hard, but it's not getting any better. 

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I might be living in an apartment in japan instead of a dorm. Sayo and Mariko asked me to live with them! The apartment is only 5 minutes away from school, and i'll be able to have people stay with me. which is even better!

My japanese apartment isss....

http://fudosan.cbiz.ne.jp/show_rent.cgi?supplier=66&id=20&bgcolor=FFCC99

Im so excieted.
If I'm able to work everything about by next week or so, mom said she is going to let me goto japan in october. I'll be going for 10 months for university. If i can save up enough money and hopefully get a student loan to pay for some of the money, i'll be going for sure! I was planning on going in my 3rd year but if i go next school year, i'll know more people, like mariko and sayo. It will make everything a lot easier on me knowing people.
All i have to do is figure everything out, wish me luck!!!!!!

To go, or not to go?

SUCH A HARD QUESTION!

ooo, awesome night last night. The best part is it's not over yet!

Update later~

Stole from Christine

Post anything that you want in the comments, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a confession, a fear, a love, anything at all. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. See what memories or feelings your friends have, and if they even have any.

 

 

It doesn't feel like christmas ;[